Well it’s reshuffle time again, and in this instance it appears to have been the most incendiary game of musical chairs since the last al-Qaida office party.

Drafting in new blood to a deeply unpopular party is hardly a radical concept in the year before an election but they seem to have gone the traditional Tory route with most of it on the walls and ceiling.

Yep, when in doubt go for the purge option. That seems to be the Cameronian mantra.

Thus we have seen the exit — amicably or otherwise and many otherwise it would appear — of a shed load of middle-aged crusty Tories to be replaced by young, thrusting even more zealot types.

This reshuffle is as transparent as it is palpably pathetic. 

In a vain and frankly risible attempt to improve their standing with the electorate, the knives came out in a manner not seen since 1930s Germany in an attempt to prune back the dead wood and the toxically unpopular — apart from Cameron and Osborne themselves, you will no doubt notice.

Yes Cameron has finally (half) lived up to one of his pledges, but to be honest the boys are still very much in charge. Yes, there should be more women in senior government positions but this was pure tokenism and blatant with it.

It was probably coincidence that he finally (sort of) fulfilled his promise to bring more women into the Cabinet in the same week as the Church of England synod reversed its antediluvian stance and voted to allow women to become bishops.

This was undoubtedly a seismic shift for the CofE and should be welcomed as such and it is ludicrous it has taken this long.

As a card-carrying atheist I have never really understood what the big issue was. To paraphrase the words of the late comedian Bill Hicks, why does it matter what sex the person is that’s lying to you? 

It merely adds to the number of people I don’t listen to.

The same can very definitely be said for the reshuffle.

Of course there should be equality in every walk of life and this column has nothing against anyone wanting to be bishops — unless it’s Rolf Harris or Tony Blair. Whatever floats your boat. 

Quite why anyone would want to be a senior member of a group of reactionary bigots that actively despises you, or at least denigrates you as inferior, is a different matter.

The counter-argument is, of course, that it is your absolute right to do so and that nothing will change until there is parity. 

That and, in the case of both the CofE and the Tories, quite a few of their female members are bigots themselves.

You may think I am wandering off on one of my usual tangents here but actually there is a causal link in that after booting out the odious Michael Gove (of which more later) Cameron has appointed a fundamentalist Christian female MP as education secretary.

The recently elevated Nicky Morgan, who still retains the equality brief — but not for the gay community as she voted against same-sex marriages — is not some kind of revelatory appointment except that she does probably believe in the Book of Revelation.

While teachers may have gleefully delighted in the dethroning of Gove, and schadenfreude is always fun, we all knew things were not going to get better with this latest rejigging of the general hierarchy of bastardry.

Now there are definitely individuals of both sexes within the CofE who wish to drag the church kicking and screaming into a new century (albeit the 16th). 

It is difficult to say the same about the Tories, who — if you excuse the pun — are not such a broad church.

Regardless of race, religion, sex or sexuality, Tories are still Tories.

In fact the only one of the whole bunch who could be classed as being in any way liberal or forward thinking was Ken Clarke and he’s been given his cards.

This column will miss Clarke. He was a sole oasis of potential solace in a desert of human feeling. That and he was always (deliberately or otherwise) funny… And, a serious rarity this in modern politics, he had a personality.

William Hague has also gone but to be honest all he’s done for the last year or so was stalk Angelina Jolie and what with the restraining order…

Much was made, particularly by the execrable Daily Heil (which predictably turned it into a “catwalk” feature) of the number of women promoted in the shake-up. 

One angry unnamed Tory was quoted elsewhere as saying “the only way you can get on in this government is if you have breasts…” 

Well that explains the rise of Eric Pickles.

The only other option, he suggested, was to be “so far up George Osborne’s arse you can see (his former chief of staff) Matt Hancock’s shoes.”

That didn’t help Gove much, although shifting him to the role of chief whip
may yet prove to be a tactical move to support a leadership challenge from the Chancellor.

But to return to the allegedly massive female intake. A brief scrutiny of the facts shows that the numbers just don’t add up. 

Esther McVeigh’s new gig being ALLOWED to attend the Cabinet is hardly cause for rejoicing for equality campaigners. 

Not least because she’s a poisonous, moronic waste of oxygen.

And, while we’re on the subject, what kind of half-arsed reshuffle is it when Iain Duncan Smith doesn’t lose his job?