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One almighty slip-up from start to finish

What larks eh? This column has on occasion suggested that the Tories couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery. It now transpires that they can’t run a party conference in Birmingham either.

In the space of a week we’ve had more defections than an MI5/KGB exchange programme, plus spats, recriminations and the highly improper use of social media.

Recently the Tories have had more problems with what people are wearing than what they are not. Aiden Burley MP — he of the nazi-themed stag do— that means you.

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