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Financial distress is visited upon this noblest of guilds

We interrupt this column to bring you an urgent appeal from the Guild of Scribblers, Pontificators, Intellectuals and Nit-pickers.

It has recently been brought to our attention that your so-called columnist, a certain “Paddy McGuffin” if that is his name, which we very much doubt, has had the temerity to, not once but on numerous occasions, call into question the honesty, veracity and sober nature of our guild members and their noble tradition.

This must be stamped out with extreme prejudice, as we should have done with Gutenberg, who allowed every reprobate and rabble-rouser access to the printed word.

The 95th Anniversary Appeal
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