WE WENT to see St Pauli versus Duisberg in December 2017 (if you are thinking of visiting the club, go in the spring or late summer: Hamburg is colder than charity, I will never return in the winter.) 

I didn’t want to buy any more gear in the sports shop so was hanging outside while my mate succumbed to the seductive merchandising of the world’s biggest left-wing club. 

Despite the Baltic chill I had my jacket open to show off my T-shirt with the St Pauli skull and crossbones in Celtic colours, it’s a football fan thing.