BEERY CLASHMAS and a Hoppy New Year to one and all. I hope most of you spent the festive season with people you actually like, and those who didn’t managed to get through the proceedings without going nuts.
 
Remembering the family Christmasses of my youth, surrounded by elderly relatives who treated the Daily Express as more of a Bible than the real thing, and fed up with the inane rhymes in the seasonal greetings cards, I decided to write my own personalised salutation this year.

I’m happy to say it went down very well; the people who inspired it are no longer around to be offended, and the recipients either responded with a “Hit the nail on the head there” or a “Really pleased my lot aren’t like that!” Job done.
 
 
 

ALTERNATIVE CHRISTMAS CARD
 

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the land
The comrades were waiting
For folk they can’t stand.
The Sun reading uncle –
‘Those strikers are barmy’
His Mail-doting partner:
‘Just send in the army’.
 
My tactics were simple
Midst the festive strife.
(I’ve dealt with this nonsense
For much of my life.)
‘It says in the paper…’
‘Oh, auntie, stop whining.
That isn’t a paper –
It’s litter tray lining.’
 
If that is too forthright
Just sink lots of beer
And put on a smile
You know is a sneer.
It won’t last for ever –
At most, half a day.
They don’t like you either.
They’ll soon go away.
 
 
I embraced 2022 with a thirst normally reserved for the first pint of ale after a long bike ride. The sheer joy of gigging once more after the privations of lockdown took me all over England and Wales, Germany, Austria, Sweden and Holland, and I actually did a gig in Scotland outside Glasgow and Edinburgh. (Thank you, Stirling.)

It remains a source of sadness to me that I have done far more extensive tours of Australia, New Zealand, Canada, the US and much of mainland Europe than I have of Scotland, and if there is anyone out there who would like to change that while I still have the strength in my lungs to do it, I’d love to hear from them.
 
I did over a hundred gigs in the past year, the most I’ve done for years, and loved every minute, many supporting the new wave of strike action taking place across the country. Here’s to many more gigs, supporting many more strikes, in 2023. This disgusting kleptocratic conspiracy of a government needs booting out as soon as possible.  
 
In football terms the highlight was undoubtedly the 4-1 defeat of Chelsea after they had filched our manager, player of the season and backroom staff, and the cauldron of gloriously endless booing which undoubtedly spooked Potter & Co on their return will live long in the memory.
 
The lowlight, obviously, was the world cup, lower case intentional. Wrong place, wrong time, an insult to inclusivity and diversity and a total own goal by Fifa. Hardly watched any of it. Congrats to Alexis Mac Allister though, it wasn’t his fault, and 25 years after being bottom of the 4th Division with no ground Brighton are not only 7th in the Premier League but now have a world cup winner. I’m happy with that.
 
Album of the year is the Newtown Neurotics’ Cognitive Dissidents. An absolute tour de force, a long time in the making: articulate,  angular, original and authentic.
 
Leader of the Opposition of the year: Mick Lynch, obviously. He tied the corporate media in knots. Toilet papers like the Sun claim to be the authentic voice of the working class.
They’re not. Lynch is. Absolutely brilliant.
 
And as I finish, I’ve just heard Pele has left the Earth. RIP to the greatest player to ever kick a ball, from a time when it truly was the people’s game.
 
See you in 2023!
 
For further info please visit https://www.facebook.com/attilathestockbroker and/or https://attilathestockbroker.bandcamp.com/merch