Motherboard (15)
Directed by Victoria Mapplebeck
★★★★☆

THE realities of motherhood, the hardships of being a single mum — and the guilt — are chronicled in this raw and intimate warts-and-all documentary by Bafta award-winning director Victoria Mapplebeck. 

At 38 years old Victoria found herself single, pregnant and broke, and decided she had to quit her job as TV director in order to have and care for her baby. His father, who she had only been out with on four dates, spent just 45 minutes meeting his newborn son Jim before leaving, not to reconnect until over a decade later. It is difficult to fathom how anyone could walk away from this adorable baby. 

Shot over 20 years, Boyhood-style, mostly on smartphones, Victoria captures the twists and turns in Jim’s life but, apparently, still giving him the power to veto what would be shown of him in the documentary. What emerges is a unique portrait of the highs and lows of motherhood and bringing up a child single-handedly. The emphasis is upon her own loss of identity as a parent, and her guilt over giving up the career she loved to bring up her son. 

It also features some heartbreaking moments, such as Jim’s father asking for a paternity test and a two-year-old Jim crying and screaming at having his cheeks swabbed; in 2018, two days before Christmas, when she learns that she has breast cancer while Jim’s father puts off meeting him. Jim states: “this year needs to f**k off.”

It is heart-wrenching to see Victoria break down on camera as she admits she wants to see her son reach adulthood but not knowing if she will as she films her hospital visits and cancer treatment. 

At 13 Jim sounds very mature and sensible as he asks to see his dad which proves hard for both him and his mum. The film shows the doubts and anxieties Jim feels around having an absent dad who does not jump at the chance of getting to know him. Also going off the rails in his mid to late teens and taking it out on his mum in one poignant scene which, though awful to watch, is understandable given what he is dealing with.

This is a very candid and unromanticised portrayal of being a mother and yet it’s terribly moving. Victoria’s painstaking work is a love letter to motherhood, and her son Jim, and is a must see.

In cinemas August 15.