IN ANY other pub in London, I would expect to walk in unnoticed and buy myself a drink, sit in a corner and ruminate in peace. 

However on the rare occasion, on a late voting night in Parliament, if I wish to have a quiet drink alone in the MPs’ bar, you would think I’d walked into the gents’ toilet by mistake. The world stops. You hear crickets. They stare and snicker. It is unbelievably rude. And of course deliberate. 

Meanwhile, upstairs in the House of Commons, the age-old custom of barracking is a daily trial. It is calculated to intimidate and belittle. 

Visiting schoolchildren tell me they find it unacceptable, it is not how they are taught to behave. One seven-year-old asked me: “Why does Theresa May laugh when you talk about sad things?” 

Good question.

My guiding principle in life has always been that everyone has equal value and importance. To be honest, this causes all kinds of interesting problems. 

People bursting with self-importance cannot adjust to this. Put simply, from their point of view I don’t recognise my place in the pecking order. And I don’t intend to. Ever.

As a journalist and researcher working in the design, architecture and planning arena for most of my working life, I am well used to working in male-dominated environments. 

Some male architects can be arrogant and conceited, but in general, among groups of educated, intelligent, thoughtful and outward-looking people, and particularly in academia, there is less of a gender divide.

So in that world I have always felt like a person with particular interests and expertise first. In Parliament, however, I am seen as a woman first. 

Women have been in Parliament for 100 years, but we are often seen as infiltrators in a boys’ school, where women are tolerated, patronised and a constant irritation. 

I should state here that, while Labour certainly has its dinosaurs, this attitude is undoubtedly more prevalent among right-wing Tories. 

So I’ve heard the argument that to counter this narrative we need more women leaders; Parliament should reflect society. 

But I cannot accept the proposal that women leaders make society more compassionate and humane. 

Two women Tory leaders have headed the most brutal, anti-family governments in recent times, punishing minority groups, immigrants, migrant and other low-paid workers, disabled people, pensioners and working women. 

Meanwhile our male Labour leader is renowned for a lifetime of championing disadvantaged groups of all kinds, and is quite simply loved for it. 

You can’t buy that kind of reputation, and dressing Jeremy Corbyn like a banker — as some would wish — cannot change his soul, any more than an exquisite wardrobe can make our PM a kinder person.

But let’s try to take the personal out of this. The Tory government is intimidated by the strength of the opposition, by the remarkable and forward-thinking manifesto we produced in 2017, by a leader who is unimpeachable, whatever they throw at him in a daily war of attrition.  

When the House of Commons descends into animalistic grunts and shrieks it demeans our democratic process. 

The world is watching, and shocked seven-year-olds cannot believe MPs are allowed, in 2019, to behave like football hooligans in the cradle of democracy. 

When I see MPs whipping each other into a frenzy of shouty self-righteousness, I have to remind myself that it is not merely provocative, alpha-male-dominated behaviour which has been allowed to prevail unchecked. 

It is not merely demeaning to democracy. It is not merely unworthy, violent behaviour. It is also absurd. 

At a local party committee meeting recently I had the temerity to be right on an issue which the male chair had misunderstood. 

I felt I had been courteous in correcting the misunderstanding, but clearly being right on an issue of compliance was a provocation. I was violently sworn at. 

If men in positions of influence and power cannot be politely corrected by a woman without descending to violent verbal abuse, we have a long way to go. 

Politics is an angry and male-dominated place. A lot of people want this to change. 

So, on International Women’s Day, let’s remind men who cannot sit in positions of authority without descending into brutish behaviour, that they are ridiculous. 

And if they swear at you — laugh. 

Emma Dent Coad is MP for Kensington.