POLISH world-class ski jumper Andrzej Stekala began the new year with a public coming out and a message mourning his partner whom he lost in November.

The 29-year-old Stekala wrote on his Facebook page that for years he was hiding the truth about being gay for fear it could be destructive for him. On Wednesday, he wrote he wanted his fans and the public to know “who I really am.”

“For a long time I wondered if I would ever find the strength to write these words,” Stekal said in his post. “For years I lived in the shadow of fear, in hiding, afraid that who I really was could destroy me. I want you to really get to know me. I’m gay.”