ONE of the things I’ve enjoyed the most about being a journalist and sports reporter is savouring the game as a neutral. 

Of course, as a football supporter of more than 40 years I also relish matches. But in a completely different way. 

You kick every ball as a fan, and when an opposition player might perform a piece of skill, or score a spectacular goal against your team, you simply cannot enjoy it. 

It’s always been a strange notion that, as a fanatic, you simply cannot enjoy a good goal if it goes against your team, no matter how outstanding it may be. Conceding a goal is like a dagger to the heart as a fan. 

In non-sporting terms, it’s like going to the cinema and hating every minute of the star actors’ performance because you don’t like them. What other leisure activity would you undertake, where you hate every minute of someone’s talent, if it doesn’t align with your viewpoint?

Take this week. 

I took my daughter to Wembley last Sunday for the Women’s FA Cup Final. She was very excited, as I was too. We had great tickets right behind the goal in the Arsenal end and couldn’t wait for kick-off to savour Jonas Eidevall’s excellent Gunners. 

And then the match started. It was so bad, and so disappointing I can only liken it to a dismal afternoon at the national stadium in February 2018, when the Arsenal men’s side lost 3-0 to Manchester City in an appalling display.

As a fan on Sunday, I couldn’t even admit that Sam Kerr’s goal was outstanding. Even if I did eventually acknowledge to my daughter that Kerr’s lofted strike was excellent – but it was only when I realised I had to be adult about such things and behave like a parent rather than a fan. But it hurt. As a fan who was there, defeat really hurt. 

Whereas on Thursday, I covered Arsenal Women’s 4-0 defeat at the hands of Barcelona Femini at the Emirates. 

Maybe it was because I was in the press box that I marvelled at the intense pressing, the talent, the technique and the application from the Catalan visitors and couldn’t praise them enough, while savouring the spectacle. I spoke to fans who were at the game in the aftermath and for a few moments I couldn’t understand why they were so downbeat after such an impressive Barca performance. And then the dichotomy between being a fan and being a journalist kicked in once again. 

As ever, it is only when I leave the confines of the press box that the emotional side of the match I have been covering finally sinks in.

For example, I once covered Arsenal winning 4-1 at Sunderland’s Stadium of Light after an excellent display. 

However, it was only when I was behind the steering wheel halfway back down the A1, reviewing the match in my head after filing the match report and reaction at the ground in Wearside in as professional a manner as possible (as always), that I suddenly left out a massive cheer in my car.

I dread to think what any motorists around me would have thought if they had seen me let out a such a primal scream at the realisation that ‘we’ had won the match – hours after the final whistle. 

Equally, dismal defeats, such as when I was in the Old Trafford press box last week covering Arsenal’s 3-2 defeat to Manchester United, only really strike me afterwards. 

You’re so in the zone covering the match and everything around it, you have to remain emotionless during the match. In fact etiquette demands it. You simply cannot show emotions in the press box, or cheer for a team. I take pride in the fact I have always upheld these traditions, despite hurting – or cheering – inside. 

Yet, it is only hours later, when I’m “off duty,” that the reality dawns on me and I start to look at the match from a fan’s point of view. 

As anyone who knows me will attest, I am a very passionate fan. I was in the away end at Goodison Park on Monday, kicking every ball. And feeling the defeat every moment during the long drive home in the early hours. 

Mind you, four defeats in the last week for the Arsenal men’s and women’s teams have been hard to take no matter where I’ve been watching them from. 

PS — I’ll be selling our new Christmas issue of the Gooner Fanzine at the arches on Hornsey Road before Arsenal vs Southampton on Saturday afternoon before heading to the press box to cover the game. 

Win or lose I won’t be showing emotion in the press box. But catch me in the pub afterwards. Now, that’s a different matter entirely...