HELLO, how’s your week been? Mine has been painful. Before my dear old mum starts worrying about whether something serious has happened to me in the “real world,” I must clarify — my week has been painful in sporting terms. 

Of course, there have been plenty of things far more important than mere sport that deserved my attention this week — serious things that deservedly place mere sport into context. 

Routing venal Tories at the ballot box next week at the local elections would be a start, for example.

Attempting to hold lying, craven second-rate Conservative politicians to account for all their Blue lies, from arrant falsehoods regarding asylum-seekers, to their dishonesty relating to the NHS, their deceitfulness, their deception and their hypocrisy over unions attempting to gain fair wages for low-paid workers for starters, is also far more important than anything that happens on the pitch. 

Not to mention holding to account uncaring Tories’ uncalled-for animosity, antagonism and enmity over teachers striking for fair pay and proper school funding.

Or even noting that public support for the monarchy has returned to an all-time low — Queen Camilla? You must be joking. Not in my name, thanks very much. 

And yet. As someone who hates Tories as much as the next person, I must concede that as someone who is obsessed with sport, yes, this week has been painful. And miserable. And awful. And disappointing. 

Why? Well, as someone who unashamedly lives and breathes Arsenal Football Club, the 4-1 thrashing that Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City handed out to Mikel Arteta’s Gunners this week in north-west England was chastening.

Even though I say it myself, I am rightly proud of my match report for this newspaper from the stadium that fulsomely praised Guardiola’s champions-elect. I have always prided myself on separating being a fan and a journalist and can certainly appreciate good football played by other teams. 

That said, it was genuinely painful to watch an Arsenal side that has played so well all season, being simply outclassed by a team on another level.

Yes, you can mention sportswashing — and many of us including myself have written about it plenty of times — but for 90 terrible minutes we were painfully second-best on the pitch. And it hurt. 

Arteta’s tactics of attempting to man-mark arguably the best team in the world failed to pay off.

Not least against Kevin de Bruyne and the beast that is Erling Haaland who invariably caught the Gunners on the counter, isolating poor Rob Holding — who is still probably having nightmares now, after he was pulled here, there, and everywhere, while attempting to hold a high line.

It was no surprise the Belgian netted twice while Haaland grabbed City’s final goal after setting up two assists. 

Reporting complete, I stayed over in Manchester, which was fortunate in a way as we would have been too stunned to drive back. Arteta certainly looked as crestfallen as many of the fans were when he turned up for his post-match press conference. 

I had planned to catch up with old pals in Manchester’s atmospheric Northern Quarter after the match — but I simply couldn’t face it. How gutted do you have to be to even turn down drowning your sorrows with good friends?

It was like I was a kid again, when, upon losing a game, I would simply lock myself away, unable and unwilling to speak to a soul until the pain eased. Which is essentially what I did in my hotel room in Manchester, emerging at midday the next day, only because someone was banging at the door asking when I was going to leave the room. 

Plus ca change and all that. It was lucky I didn’t copy my idol Alan Partridge and start dismantling the Corby trouser press in the room at the same time. 

However, now is not the time for recriminations, just like Arsenal’s absolutely incredible away support at the City of Manchester stadium who sang their hearts out all night, there is plenty to be proud about this season — even if the discussions have already started about how the Gunners can improve the squad for next year. 

As if to underline a bad week, I was also at Ashburton Grove to watch Jack Wilshere’s U18s take on West Ham U18s in the FA Youth Cup. After watching and reporting on the young guns’ thrilling run all the way to the final (the only game I missed was the long trip up to Newcastle in the fourth round on a Tuesday evening in deepest, darkest January) I, like many, had high hopes for Wilshere’s braves. 

Yet Kevin Keen’s young Irons were superb, routing Arsenal to deservedly lift their first youth cup since 1999 — delighting their vociferous 7,000 travelling fans at Ashburton Grove on Tuesday evening.

Getcha Gooner — Save The Gooner and help support independent publishing 

Prior to that deflating loss — even if I fully understand the main job of youth football is to produce professional footballers — as proud editor of a staunchly independent print publication, I had been busy burning the midnight oil pulling together souvenir issue No 300 of the Gooner Fanzine. 

Somehow we made it through the winter with the goodwill and support of good people and are proud to say we have made it to 300 issues spread over 35 years — even if what happens next depends on our forthcoming Save the Gooner campaign.

In the meantime, I must humbly say a massive thank you to all our brilliant team of writers, contributors, artists, creatives, and sellers for getting our publication over the line.

Not to mention our loyal readers and sponsors. And last but never least to my wonderful partner Faye for all her help, support and understanding that living with a sports-mad editor of a print publication has its moments.

We even brought back the artwork of the brilliant Mark Butler for those of you who used to buy a copy 20 years ago, as we recall the glorious early days of the Gooner Fanzine through the writing of those who played a big part: Mike Francis, Amy Lawrence, Highbury Spy, Mickey Cannon and so many others. 

We’ll have all summer to reflect on this week after Arsenal’s 4-1 loss to Manchester City, but, if you’ll indulge us today, we’re really proud the Gooner Fanzine has made it to 300 issues.

It has been such a struggle. So, please buy a copy if you’re not a subscriber — or even if you are, why not buy an edition for your mate who hasn’t read us for a few years?

We are about to launch the Save the Gooner campaign, set to be launched on Tuesday before Arsenal v Chelsea, but for now, Getcha Gooner.

My week ahead

In the meantime, I’ll be at Stevenage v Grimsby to see if Steve Evans’s side can gain the victory they need for a deserved promotion to League One.

On Sunday, I’ll once again be reporting on the form of Manchester City, this time at Fulham, with a trip to grand old Craven Cottage.

While on Monday, I’ll be at Ashburton Grove as a fan with my partner and youngest daughter and a few pals as we take in the Arsenal Women’s Champions League semi-final second leg clash against Wolfsburg on bank holiday Monday. 

Here’s to a far less painful week next week.