Dying (18)
Directed by Matthias Glasner
★★★★☆

DON’T be put off by this film’s title or its three-hour running time because it is a fascinating and compelling exploration of death, through the eyes of a dysfunctional and broken family. While heartbreakingly sad and dark it is also surprisingly funny and hopeful. 

Inspired by the demise of German writer-director Matthias Glasner’s own parents, it follows the Lunies family in a series of chapters. Lissy (Corinna Harfouch) and her husband Gerd (Hans-Uwe Bauer) are dying. She has cancer, diabetes and kidney failure while he is suffering with dementia and Parkinson’s. 

She is struggling to take care of him and is reliant on her neighbour’s help as her grown-up children Tom (Lars Eidinger) and Ellen (Lilith Stangenberg) rarely visit. Due to his dementia Gerd constantly wanders out in just a shirt and no underwear, inadvertently flashing everyone, which is heartwrenching to see. Lissy can barely look after herself.

Yet the health authority won’t increase their financial assistance because they declare her situation isn’t dire enough. Because she puts on a brave face when they come round to reassess her they claim that just proves she is fine which clearly isn’t the case. It is all about cost-cutting. Where is the empathy?

Tom, a conductor, is working on a composition by his friend and composer Bernard (Robert Gwisdek) called “Dying.” Plus, he is made the surrogate father of his ex-girlfriend’s baby while his sister, a dental nurse, uses alcohol to medicate herself and embarks on an affair with fellow dentist and married man Sebastian (Ronald Zehrfeld). But their relationship only functions with drink. 

There is a brutal and frank exchange between mother and son when she admits she never loved him. He claims they are both cold and terrible people, lacking empathy. Meanwhile Ellen’s antics are hilarious, if cringeworthy, as she accidentally sabotages his premiere of “Dying.”

Tom’s total lack of feelings is in contrast to Bernard, a perfectionist who wears his emotions on his sleeve and who desperately wants to die. When Ellen ruins his recital, he has a monumental breakdown and goes for her jugular. 

The film walks a fine line between tragedy and comedy while remaining grounded and realistic as Tom works up to his emotional epiphany and closure in the moving final act. While dealing with dying parents is totally relatable, certainly to me, this isn’t for the squeamish.

In cinemas July 25.